I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
