I'm so fucking centered right now
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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