i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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