Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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