if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize