Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
They are going to name an STD after you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
