these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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