Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
