Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
