Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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