VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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