if i can run in heels then i can drive
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
