You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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