Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
