Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize