what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
