i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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