Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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