ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize