Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize