I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i think i have herpe
just one?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
