Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
try to milk me bitch
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