If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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