no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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