i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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