9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
