theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
