So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
