the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
