i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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