what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
