Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
