The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize