If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
