Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
