If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
