I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
