How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
