I hope mine doesn't look like that
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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