If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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