The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
