Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
