I need help removing her.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
