He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
