Little spoons don't ask big questions
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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