We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
