i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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