u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
