My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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