yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
