You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
