a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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