my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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