don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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