I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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