D3 body, D1 cock
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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