Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
