It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
