i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
