That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
