i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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