You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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