The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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