I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
