Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
