so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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