I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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