quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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