In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
