best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She's the barista slut.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
